SO IT TURNS OUT I LOVE THE COCK

this is the inevitable post in which i tell errybody bout my HORRIFYING SE%UAL DEVIANCIES. you have been warned. also these are all subject to change.

first off and most importantly is DELICIOUS HOMOSE%UALITY. okay really im just bi. curious. i havent actually tried it yet. from what i can tell from the shit ive seen on /d/, i just really love the cock. i like futa (anime girls with penises). i also like dudes with penises, i think, i just dont want them in my asshole. anyway its all subject to change once i figure shit out. ive come out to two of my friends and now im coming out to the internet, so hey guys. I DEMAND COMING OUT PARTY TIMES

also i have a shitload of fetishes too, so while im

at it, why dont i list them.

if you dont know what these things are and decide to google them and your life is ruined, YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF

-soft vore

-light sadism

-light masochism (in theory)

-suffocation (either me or the other person it doesnt matter)

-tentacles

-futanari but we already talked about that

-macrophilia

-unbirth

-THE MAMMARIES

-lactation

-e%pansion (sometimes)

-quad amputees (sometimes when its not horribly depressing)

-probs a lot more that im forgetting/havent found yet

to tha haterz: just try fucking with me. just try it, i fucking dare you. no really, i dare you. i take way too much pleasure from ABSOLUTELY DESTROYING dumbasses' metaphorical assholes with my intellectual cock, so please. try it. and when youre out of bullshit to spew, please do us all a favor and burn your keyboard.

WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE

BREAD PUDDING ALL DAY STOPPING MAKING BREAD PUDDING ALL DAY IN 2009. I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT ONE BREAD PUDDING WAS MADE THROUGHOUT THE DAY, AND ONE BREAD PUDDING WAS PUBLISHED EVERY DAY. I HAVE BEEN DECIEVED!

BUT WAIT they could just be making a really huge bread pudding and its taking them 2 years to make it, and theyve been working 24/7. oh my god it must be so fucking huge

so ive started writing pornographic fanfics about my friends upon request

robbingdog this is all your fault.

also a girl wants one (the same one who had a se%y dream about me), and i am orgasming already. ^~^

...lets never use that emoticon again.

REQUIEM WITH AWFUL MEMORIES

btw im going back to the equius posting style cuz i love being STRONG, but thats not what this is about. also NOBODY CARES.

i dont actually know if requiem means what i think it does, i just assumed its meaning from that awful avp sequel but clint mansell makes me worry oh no e%istential angst. anyway im now in a situation that happened once before. im home alone with my sister. shes upstairs doing whatever the hell she does at home, and im downstairs doing internets. this happened before, in spring of '10 i think.
i was home alone, and i decided to watch some porn. it was my first time actually fapping to bbw (i had developed a fat fetish before and had only looked at pictures and erectified, but never fapped with it in front of me; also after i returned from debate camp later that year i stopped being turned on by bbw but NOPE ITS BACK AGAIN WOO PARTY TIMES). i heard something upstairs, but decided to ignore it cuz it was probs squirrels on the roof or some shit. later, i heard someone coming downstairs, and oh shit those arent squirrels. it was my sister. insta-bonerkill. i didnt get caught (she didnt actually enter the room), but i didnt want to risk it so i stopped. it was THE LAMEST OF SAUCES.

anyway that is why im not fapping today. ::::c

anyway that is a story that i kind of regret telling but OH WAIT THE ENTIRE REST OF THE BLOG.

new postin sty|e, bitches and whorres !!

-xxX- yeah so up unti now ive been steaing equius's typing quirrk but now imma use my fantrro's which is actuay rreay inconvenient and WHY DID I MAKE IT SO HARRD !! so basicay if you dont rread mspa and you werre confused beforre you gon be SO MAD.

EDIT: never fucking mind blogger is terrible and doesnt recongize the big fucking line you can make if you hold shift and hit the key that makes this thing \ so im just gonna not use it here cuz jesus christ its awful. Maybe I'll actually try to do English correctly? ... probs not but whatever. anyway the above paragraph is awful and impossible to read cuz there arent any ells, so sorry. sorry that BLOGGER IS SO MUCH ANUS

greetins

Hello. You can refer to me as iFamot.
invisible
Force
and
master
of
time
I've been asked to contribute to this blog and I will do as such. Just thought I'd say hi. Until next time.

name change DEUS

yeah i changed my name again, and now its TOTALLY GREAT. cuz its got scrup001ous in it, man. its all about the scrup001. i have no fucking c100 where "mindeater" came from ,but whatevz, its DAMN C001.

so theres this one kid who pretty much made me who i am okay?

okay so ive been thinking about how i came to be who i am today. ive actually figured it all out for the most part, e%cept for where the hell and obscene number of fetishes came into being within my soul (not how fetishes work but whatever).

im pretty sure this one kid, who i'm gonna call J-KRIZZLE because his first name is julian and krizzle is just damn awesome, is responsible the events that shaped me or at least was there when all dat shit went down.

okay so the first thing that happened was he gave me the se% talk because my parents are awful. also, be warned: when i describe the place, dont even bother trying to make sense of it youll only understand if youve been there. yeah sorry i sort of nostalgiaed it up and didnt really bother to describe it legibly because its kind of hard to.

i was at the p001 with him when we were like in 1st or 2nd grade or something, i guess i was seven or eight at the time, maybe younger or older, i dont remember when things happened, just that they did one time. anyway, there was this place behind the p001, there was this building that was a clubhouse or something? and there were bathrooms too, connected to it, and between the bathrooms and the clubhouse was this stretch of wood that didnt have anything in it e%cept benches on one side, and the entrance was on the other, and it was open-air and we would play wall-ball there e%cept i was SO AWFUL YOU WOULD NEVER BELIEVE. anyway, behind the benches was a grassy area that kids werent supposed to go but they didnt really have anything preventing us from going there and there was this open drain thing that was like they dug into the ground and made a curve with two tunnels for sewage or something in the curved part of the wall. and we were standing on the curved part, 100king out on the fence that stood in front of it that seperated the p001 from this overgrown area of weeds and shit that was more like a forest to us when we were kids, and we had bought drinks from the concession stand, and we finished and threw the cans into the river below us that flowed out from the two tunnels and we were trying to justify the morality of DESTROYING THE ENTIRE FUCKING ENVIRONMENT and i said "its not like it matters, just as long as theres at least one girl fish left." i did not know where babies came from at the time. he said "steve wut u talkin bout thar has 2 be a dude lol" and i was like "wut no thar dusnt" and i bet him $20 and we asked my mom and she was like "oh no." i never paid him the $20. and all i ever learned was the very basics, that you have to put your dick in a girls vag (to any four-year-olds who somehow got to my blog by accident, you have my sincerest apologies). i never found out anything more until 6th grade, when i did the pornography. WAY TO GO MOM AND DAD.

okay the second thing that happened was HE HAD A FUCKING TREBUCHET. this actually had no effect on me whatsoever, but, fuck, he had a goddamn trebuche! like, not a tiny popsicle-stick-and-rubber-bands catapult, but A MOTHER FUCKING ACTUAL TREBUCHET. his parents never married, and his step dad was SO DAMN C001. and either he or his real dad helped him build AN ACTUAL WORKING FULL-SCALE TREBUCHET in his backyard. it was fucking MASSIVE. we launched a watermelon at his house and it was awesome. fuck, he was so c001 and i couldnt even recognize that until now. HOLY SHIT, A TREBUCHET, OH MY GOD!

im going to end the post here instead of talking about how one time we played pretend and it was like LotR but shitty cuz we were kids and i had an imaginary giantess girlfriend who was ALWAYS NAKED and we killed entire fucking armies because i had a goddamn giantess on my side, because that trebuche is REALLY FUCKING C001 and i dont want to talk about anything that isnt that HOLY SHIT AMAZING TREBUCHET.

it was like that but without the ladder and a bit simpler.

OH GOD SO AMAZING

TREBYOUSHAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!

THE BLOG HAS SI% HUNDRED VEIWS SATAN IS COMING GUISE

so yeah weve got si% hundred veiws now. which is pretty terrible, but whatever, because im sure that the more people that veiw this, the more people know HORRIBLE TRUTHS about me.

anyway my gmail got ha%ored somehow so i had to make a new one and appoint it as an author, upgrade it to admin, remove my old profile, and copypasta all the profile info n shit and JEGUS CHRIST THAT WAS WAY TOO MUCH WORK FOR SOMETHING SO SIMPLE OH MY GOD.

also i read a bunch of creepypasta today and GUESS WHOS NOT GONNA SLEEP TONIGHT ITS ME. e%cept for the fact that i have the knowledge of both that it's bullshit and also of e%istentialism, so if something really does try to kill me, fuck its shit cuz its not like anythings real anyway.

wow the title really had nothing to do with the rest of this post, did it, FUCK.

following a blog soley for its name

i just followed a blog called bread pudding all day. the only improvement i can suggest to the blog is to add the words "mother fuckers" at the end. wait no i want to do that. wait fuck i already made a blog. DAMMIT.

things that why the hell didnt i get to them earlier

yeah so hey dadt got its ass kicked a hella long time ago but imma talk about it now, dammit.  its great that peoples constitutional rights are actually happening but the downside of that is that if i ever get drafted i cant figure out my se%uality, preferably with a bearded architect on a submarine, and avoid getting killed at the same time.  ffffffffuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkkk.  but im not gonna allow that to stop me from having an e%cuse to celebrate by masturbating in a church bathroom while imagining lesbian se%.

...

...what im feeling right now it like my soul drowning.  is this the pain of regret?

name change

mushroomCollector is absoulte shit.  redOverseer is mediocre, ill probs change it later.  im thinking something with the word "scrup001ous."  scrup001ous is good.

SUBMACHINE 7 IS HERE IF YOU ARE NOT SHITTING YOURSELF WITH GLEE YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS

submachine 7 is here.  if youre unfamiliar with the submachine franchise, congratulations, you are now about to learn of the greatest thing to ever grace the internet.  submachine is a story.  thats all i can really say.  its a story about you, and a story about murtaugh.  there are really 11 submachines.  with four off-shoots of the main storyline.  there are two new tie-ins that i have to play in addition to 7.  and also the entire franchise because i have to redo the whole series each time a new one comes out to remember the plot.  anyway, submachine is a point-and-click adventure game, and if youre unfamiliar with them, you will learn to love them.  basically, you see a picture, and you click on it to find stuff.  for e%ample, most of them are of the escape-the-room genre, in which the player tries to escape a room.  and theres always a screwdriver somewhere.  ALWAYS.  and theyre usually deviously hard and i usually need a walkthrough.  but its fun anyways, so whatever.  anyway its easy to figure out once you start playing and my description was really shitty.  but anyway submachine is the best and most famous point-and-clicker, and you should play it RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

submachine 1: the basement --where it all starts.
more submachines

SHE KNOWS

hey remember that post i wrote a few weeks ago about mspaf and how le%%y is a BLUH BLUH HUGE BITCH?  yeahwell i forgot that i have a link to my blog in the signatur eof my mspaf account.  and i recently went on my mspaf profile, where it displays personal information and also a list of recent veiwers of your profile.  the most recent?  LE%%Y.  SHE KNOWS.  SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING.  OH FUCKTITS.

okay, so theres no real evidense that le%%y has actually seen my blog.  that may be true.  maybe she 100ks at erryones profile to check for HORRIFYING CHILD PORN THAT DEFINATELY E%ISTS ON MSPAF CUZ IT TOTES HAPPENS SO MUCH</sarcasm></attempttoshowoffbyusinghtmlcode>  but i just feel it, i can feeeeeeeel it, you know?  i can feel her watching me.  and, quite frankly, im scared.  and i think the only reason im not banned from mspaf is because then i would somehow win in a way?  or something?  since im talking about how she ruins personal freedoms or something that if she proved me right i would win?  it kinda makes sense i guess.  or maybe she just doesnt give a fuck.

im pretty lucky she didnt ban me, though, regardless of her reasons.  because i was kind of a BLUH BLUH HUGE BITCH when describing her.  to be fair, shes a really talented artist and even helps with mspa sometimes!  or at least made some merch.  and im sure shes not as terrible as i said and maybe she just goes batshit crazy when people put porn on her site (she is prettymuch the god of the mspaf so i guess its her site?  its really more of andrew's, but he never really does anything so im gonna say its hers, WHATEVER).  i just disagree with everything she supports is all.

DOUBLE MOHER FUCING POST:; equius e%capades/unstoppable is a movie about trains.

hey hey the shitty spelling was intentional, its not like i try to do anything else right here anyway so why dont you sHUT THE FUCK UP ASS WHOLE (as opposed to a half-ass oh snap delicious puns i worked hard on that one so please be nice to it).
anyway.
this post.  is a double post.  there are two topics i will be discussing:

TOPIC THE FIRST.
i bought an equius shirt.  that is to say, the shirt equius wears, not a shirt with equius on it, those dont e%ist.  its just a blue sagittarius on a black non-wifebeater t-shirt.  WHY ISNT IT A WIFEBEATER THATS STUPOID.  but its actually pretty awesome because i dont want to wear a fucking wifebeater, this is goddamn december.  so anyway i wore it to the mall today because i was going to see unstoppable, which i had no prior knowledge of.  but thats not important now.  whats important is that THERE WAS A GIRL.  i ate dinner before watching the movie, and i ate some delicious unknown-country-of-origin-east-asian food at the food court (the restaurant was called "mr wok" and didnt say "chinese/japanese/korean restaurant" under it, so i have no idea what to call it without being a RACIST HO BAG TITFACE).  i sat down at a table and began to eat.  i noticed in front of me yet slightly to the left, a girl.  she was probably in her early to mid twenties, and she 100ked at me.  she 100ked at me wantingly, you know?  just...  wantingly.  i could tell that she saw my shirt and also loved equius, and that she wanted to make sweet, passionate love to me then and there, and she wanted to dump her douche bag boyfriend with ridiculous hair who would soon join her at the table and start a family of mspa fans with me, merely for the fact that i wore an equius shirt.  and then i proceeded to spill coke all over that shirt, and she turned away in disgust.

TOPIC THE SECOND.

okay so after i completely ruined my chances of having se% with a much older stranger because of a single shared interest, i swallowed sadness as well as the rest of my unknow-country-of-origin-east-asian meal and watched the movie.  i watched with my parents, not because im a 100ser, but because im 15 years old and sometimes my parents take my to movies okay SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME DONT JUDGE.  anyway.  my dad is QUITE THE JOKESTER, and i never know if hes kidding or not.  so he tells me what the movie's about.  and he says its about a robot that busts shit up.  and im like "okay obviously hes full of shit," but then i see the movie poster.

i was walking into the theater when i saw the poster so i didnt get a good 100k at it and only saw the title, the sentence under it thats supposed to make people want to see it or something (i have no fucking c100 what the word for that is), and the image under it.  and i thought to myself, "hopy shit dads right this is going to be SO INTENSE."  so i go into the theater e%pecting robots and SHIT TONS OF E%PLOSIONS.  and about halfway through, i realize that THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT TRAINS.  NOTHING BUT TRAINS.  WHAT THE HELL.  however, i fucking love trains, so i still enjoyed it, although, at the beginning, there were a few scenes of children and they were really happy and they were interspliced (im fairly certain this is a legitimate cinematic term) with images of people standing ne%t to huge industrial trains and it really shows off how incredibly fucking powerful they are and just how easy it is (or at least seems to be) to die if youre not careful when youre just standing within fifty goddamn feet of a train, and you just KNOW something horrible's gonna happen to someone.  and you just KNOW its gonna be the kids. and i completely flipped the fuck out and i was worried the movie would COMPLETELY RUIN TRAINS FOREVER for me.  anyway that is my story.

re: the mspa forums are evil

okay i got the other pic.  imma add sources once i remember who made them.

by RatherInconsitderateFellow

the mspa forums are evil

yeah so ive started using the mspa forums because ive gotten current in homestuck which means i can go there without fear of spoilers.  let me start off by pointing out my intense hatred for all forums and message boards.  theyre just terrible places, okay?  all the old kids are havin a blast and all the new kids are kicked to the curb, e%cept for the ones that arent me.  pretty much erry time i see a new kid post, erryone is automatically in love with them.  and i either get ignored or repremanded.  and the mods and admins and the regulars just sit there on their jewel-encrusted thrones, setting down their platinum chalices on the back of one of their pieces of human furniture so they can properly laugh at my suffering.  hurts deep man.  hurts so incredibly deep.

anyways.  the mspaf are fucking terrible.  theres this girl there.  and shes the fucking ultimate emperor godchrist, which is a title i made up just now.  erryone worships the ground her shadow's touched and sacrifice their firstborn sons to it.  she hangs out in the arts forum and sets all the rules for errything.  her name is le%%y, and i hate her.  yesterday, two people posted fanarts involving terezi having (bluh bluh) huge tits.  and le%%y flipped the fuck out and took both of them down.  you might think it was reasonable, but you werent there.  it was totally ridiculous.

its true that le%%y set a "no pedophilia" rule, but le%%y doesnt know shit about pedophilia.  she claimed that the images violated that rule.  because pedophiles apparently FUCKING LOVE BREASTS MAN.  which is why they want to have se% with CHILDREN.  because they have MAD TITS YO.  >>>>_>>>>

i managed to save the first image, and its awesome.  but the second pic was deleted way before i even had a chance to see it.  and i feel a profound sense of loss.  ill try to get the guy to send it to me, but i dont think its gonna happen.

anway, back to why i hate le%%y.  the rules for the arts forum also say that there cant be nudity unless its "tasteful" or something.  as long as its used as actual art instead of porn.  but oh wait there isnt a difference.  art is whatever the artist says it is.  i could make a shit right now and call it art, and it would be art.  or i could make a beautiful painting thats just goddamn breathtaking and say its not art, and it wouldnt be art.  if you think differently, fuck you; youre not the one who decides.
also, theres already a rule against porn and gore and shit being posted.  so why even add the part about pedophilia.  its already been covered.  honestly, its just discrimination.  theres no difference between this and racism.
also, id just like to point out that in japan the age of consent is 13.  which is the e%act age of erryone in homestuck.  and japan is awesome.
im fine with not wanting porn on your site, but the pictures le%%y removed werent pornographic.  sure, they depicted thirteen year olds engaging in se%ual acts, but it wasnt pornographic.  erryone was wearing clothes.  and terezi was probably drawn a lot older than thirteen for such titular tits:

By Blaragh

oh my fucking christ, shatner, what are you even doing.

yeah so im listening to i cant get behind that by william shatner and jegus christ it sucks so hard.  what the fuck are you thinking.  there's not even any musicality.  its just shatner going on a self-indulgent rage with some other guy and it annoys the shit out of me.  wtf.

shit i had a really good idea of what to post here but then i forgot

um i guess imma psycho-analyze my friend's wetdream instead, because I AM THE MOTHER FUCKING FREUD.

yeah so im friends with this girl, right? and she's black. we go to a white-majority school, and everyone's a racist fucker. this is important later on. yeah so she dreams shithive maggots. like, so many se%ual dreams it is a bit unnatural. but anyway, this is what happenz. so she and all her female friends from marching band make a pregnancy pact. and they have se% with me and some other guys from band. she told me this at a halloween party and everyone in the dream was there, which was FUCKING RIDICULOUS. so everyone has an orgy and they all give birth at the same time. and her baby's white. so she's obviously insecure about her race, which is a bit sad and a bit disturbing, too. so yeah.

but more importantly, A GIRL HAD A DREAM ABOUT ME AND THERE WAS SE%, FUCK YEAH! i am so proud of myself.

oh man 4 posts in one day HOW DO I DO IT

actually i should probs do my work now.